Clary
and Jace are really excited for this year’s Christmas. This year, Uncle James
that lives in the UK will come to their hometown in Boca Raton, Florida. He
works as a pilot. He doesn’t have much chance to meet his nieces. So this year,
he would come to visit them. He always brings amazing things as their Christmas
present. Two years ago, Clary got a new painting kit, and Jace got a new
helicopter remote-controlled toy. They are excited to find out what would Uncle
James give them as a present.
The day
they have been waiting for is finally come. On the 23rd December, he comes to their house. He
brings 2 big boxes wrapped nicely with wrapping paper and ribbon. Clary and
Jace are very curious with their presents, but they are willing to wait until
Christmas.
On the
Christmas morning, Clary and Jace wake up early. They remember their presents
from Uncle James underneath the Christmas tree. After having breakfast, Clary,
Jace, their parents, and Uncle James sit together near the fireplace. Clary and
Jace immediately open their present. They are very surprised to look at what do
they get. Clary gets the brand new camera, and Jace gets a Glidr. They are very
happy. They run into Uncle James and hug him. They think this is their best
Christmas present ever. But then they realize, the existance of their family
and Uncle James is the most amazing gift they got.
i think the structure of the story is quites good, but there is no climax and problem which makes the story more exciting. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to put some pictures to make the post more interesting. I also found some mistakes. the story was still understandable though. Overall, you did great!
ReplyDelete